CHARITY AND MANNERS IS LIKE PEAS AND CARROTS

What does charitable giving have to do with global manners? Bottom line, good manners entail caring about others and striving to make those around you comfortable. This includes not only trying to ensure their comfort in your presence, but also having the compassion to care about the well-being of others in general. Such is the nature of an amazing couple, Dee and William Brehm of Virginia.

During these times of intense economic uncertainty, the Brehms have steadfastly nurtured graduates of Fordson, Bill’s former high school in East Dearborn, Michigan. Their full-tuition scholarship program at the University of Michigan now has 21 Brehm Scholars on Campus. When they started the program six years ago, only six or seven Fordson graduates applied to U of M each year, with two or three accepted. The Brehms are ecstatic that this year 39 students applied and 25 were accepted. While only four or five full scholarships are awarded each year, they work with the University’s financial aid office to ensure that every student who enrolls will obtain the support needed. This includes medical school for those who are accepted. Currently, two medical students have scholarships that continue for additional four years.

Why should we care about this noble effort? Because the Brehm’s philanthropy reminds us that while our collective net worth has suffered terribly, we can never be stripped of our personal morality and education. And, while we’re all worried about defining our selves and our value to employers during this economic downturn, we are prompted to remember that the place to start is within. Do we value making those around us feel comfortable? How can we honor our compassion towards others? Is helping others a vehicle for helping ourselves? How can we personally grow when the economy isn’t? How can we stand out and increase our worth to our employers? Many of us can’t remember the last time we had peas and carrots, but charity and manners are values we can use daily to increase our personal growth and advancement.

ROMEO AND JULIET IN MASHED-UP TIMES

Am I the only one feeling the stress of our dichotomized times? My daily dose of Morning Joe has me worried about the disappearing middle class. My Friends at Fox catapult me back into pre—Obama fretting about the intense and dysfunctional political partisanship in this country. At a time when our world is increasingly and refreshingly mashed-up, polarized rhetoric runs rampant. Democrats and Republicans, Liberals and Conservatives, Bill Maher and Rush Limbaugh, same sex marriage, and Prop 8 are just a few of the words heard in daily rants.

And, it’s not just our politics. Just this week we learned that London has banned “smooching” in the Tube, their Subway System, yet globally, mashed-up romance and life abounds. Television (Tila Tequila), film (Love Actually), music (Katy Perry's "I kissed a girl"; Taylor Swift's Romeo and Juliet) and theatre are replete with contemporary examples of mashed-up culture. It's fascinating that Shakespeare's 400 year old tragedy of forbidden romance has seen an artistic resurgence lately. Last year I saw two productions of Romeo and Juliet. The first was at the Stratford Shakespeare Festival outside Toronto, Canada. Tony award winner, Des McAnuff, directed a talented cast embodying myriad ethnicities and skin colors worthy of the vibrant rainbow of life. The mash-up was even more innovative in the blending of 21st Century vernacular and costuming with that of the Elizabethan original. One reviewer referred to the production as high art meets pop culture.

Two months later, friends Mike Klein and Joan Fabry invited us to a performance of Romeo and Juliet at the Shakespeare Theatre Company in the Lansburgh Theatre at the Harman Center for the Arts in Washington, D.C. Uber-talented Artistic Director, David Muse, inspired by the Elizabethan tradition of all-male casts, directed this work the way he felt Shakespeare would have, with all roles played by men. Gifted Julliard graduate, James Davis, created a believable, and vibrant Juliet with a pleasing alto voice. While one critic questioned whether the Company’s artistry and expertise was showcased at the expense of “the glory of a great play,” I appreciated the stimulating glimpse into the Elizabethan world of all-male casts and glorious mash-up of our times.

REAL HOUSEWIVES?

I love Bravo TV. If time allowed, I could happily while away the hours watching marathon episodes of Top Chef. Well, last night, I watched “The Real Housewives of Atlanta” at the behest of my good friend, Barbara Barna (who is a casting agent and much hipper than me.) Okay, I was hooked and watched two episodes in a row from season one.

Having caught a couple of past episodes of “Real Housewives of New York” and “Real Housewives of Orange County,” what first struck me were the regional differences in the characters’ overall appearance and apparent value systems. The New York, Orange County, and Atlanta women are strikingly different from one another. Yes, I'm trying to be non-judgy.

Next, the misnomer in the naming of the show is curious. Webster’s, American Heritage, and Dictionary.com define “housewife” essentially as a married woman whose main occupation is caring for her family, managing household affairs, and doing housework as her main occupation. I'm not sure if any of the characters really meet these criteria.

What do I like about these shows? I appreciate the voyeuristic ability given us all to focus in on other lifestyles and to be provoked into reevaluating what does and does not work for us. This is part of what nudges us into further self-discovery. Certainly, these shows prompt me to consider if some of the value based behaviors of the “housewives” are consistent with Global Manners.

CURRAHEE: THE BIG PICTURE

My friend, Joey, aka Major Joseph Halloran, an artillery officer, is deployed with his troops somewhere in the cold rugged mountains of Afghanistan. I’ve known Joey and his family since he was a somewhat rebellious middle school kid in Ft. Sill, Oklahoma. We reconnected last year at the funeral of his father, Joseph E. Halloran, III, a retired Army Lt. Colonel, now buried in Arlington National Cemetery. Joe has a loving, supportive wife and two bouncy young children who are anxiously awaiting his return.

I’m thinking a lot about Joey these days as I speak to colleges and universities, law firms, and corporations feeling the pinch of budgetary stress and falling stock prices. Joe doesn’t have much time to focus on our collective economic calamity at home; he’s trying to do his job for our country, keep his troops alive, and stay warm. Joey doesn’t know it, but he has helped me keep perspective and focus on the bigger picture of life.

Joey’s brigade motto is “Currahee,” a term coined by the movie, Band of Brothers. It means, “stand alone.” I asked him last month, via email, if I could collect some Valentine’s Day packages for his troops, but he declined, stating that just knowing that we keep our country’s troops in our thoughts and prayers was enough. So, I made a small donation to the USO and sent an anonymous Valentine’s Day card to a soldier serving abroad. The USO.org site makes it easy. Hopefully, one more soldier will feel less like he or she stands alone.

Manners and charity, the stress antidote

The stress of enduring these harsh economic times makes me worry about the future of charitable giving. So many of us seem to be turning inward as we strive to rebalance our lives and our checkbooks. Not so for an amazing group of employees from SRA International , a company “dedicated to solving complex problems of global significance for their clients in national security, civil government, and global health.” To say they exemplify Global Manners is an understatement. Last night I attended the SRA Talent Show and was wowed not only by the globally diverse artistry, but also by the community spirit, kindness, and charitable generosity.

In my personal and work life, I enthusiastically expound on how “manners” are mostly about kindness, tolerance, and compassion. We can’t afford to ignore this in our global environment. But, our mannerly resolve may be taxed during these stressful times and the SRA Talent Show reminded me that music, laughter, charity, and friendship replenishes our soul. The mostly employee talent included a richly sensual Kathak Fusion: Nrityaki Dance of India, a sonorous gospel rendition of “Steal Away” sung by the Washington Plaza Baptist Church choir, a handmade hourglass shaped mountain dulcimer played by Ed Gaunt (who knew the traditional pick was a feather?), a classical woodwind performance by the Washington Sinfonietta Chamber Players, an Armed Forces Medley by the West Point Alumni Glee Club, and a raucous rendition of “One Short Day” from Wicked with a deliciously green skinned Tina Acker-Walsh channeling Idina Menzel .

You see, true to their corporate values, these SRA employees conceived of a talent show as a “fun way to celebrate what a special place SRA is” and to live up to their collective commitment to give back to their communities. This first time event raised over $13,400 for the Children’s Inn at NIH, the Fisher House, helping military families, and the National Capital Area Food Bank. Now that’s entertainment and nourishment for the soul.