They call it the Greatest Outdoor Show on Earth, and I’m inclined to agree. The Calgary Stampede, a 10-day all-things-Western celebration in Alberta’s fifth largest city, makes every fair you’ve ever been to seem, well, tame. Started in 1923 by ranchmen and rodeo riders, the Stampede brings well over a million spectators to Calgary for non-stop music, rodeos, chuckwagon racing, animal and agricultural demonstrations, and a Grandstand Show on a par with the opening ceremonies of the Olympics. Everybody, and I mean everybody, is strutting their Western stuff: If you filled all these 10-gallon hats you’d drain Lake Louise dry.

Sunday morning Stan and I attended the Hay’s Breakfast, an invitation-only event held in Heritage Park for 3,500 friends and associates of the Rob Peters family and the MacLeod, Dixon law firm. Now in its 58th year, the breakfast features a curious competition: Who has the chutzpah to drink the Sillabub? Sillabub is an alcoholic concoction that starts with two large cups of “Bessie’s best,” milked from her in front of the appreciative crowd. Then family and friends assemble on the stage, myself and children included, and pour a variety of high-test ingredients into the vat and give it a stir. Whoever’s brave enough to drink the Sillabub earns a well-deserved certificate attesting to their prowess. And yes, I imbibed, along with an impressive mashup of high-ranking politicians, celebrities, Calgarians, and visitors eager to be initiated.

Over heaping plates of eggs and sausage I chatted with Jack Schneider, a stalwart of the tradition and President of The Duke of Edinburgh’s Award. The award represents an international youth organization, 30,000-strong, with North-American chapters throughout Canada and in five U.S. states. Youth between the ages of 14 and 25 earn the tribute through a combination of community service, new-skill acquisition, and physical achievement. Basically, Schneider’s organization gives young people around the world the skills and values that stand to make a difference in their lives, communities, and country. What a concept! Open to all, the program can be found at www.dukeofed.org.

Youth empowerment seems to be the theme of my week, here in Calgary as guests of my dear friend Shannon and her fiancé, Peter. At a Calgary Flames Stampede party last night, I met Merleen Hodgson, a visionary who, like me, is intent on teaching compassion, promoting social skills, and inculcating community values. A certified facilitator with Young Presidents Organization (YPO), Merleen and I put our heads together to see how we might join forces. YPO is an international organization of CEOs, Presidents, and other People In Charge who happen to have attained their positions of leadership at a young age—somewhere between 25 and 45. We see ourselves ideally positioned to give these super-achievers the values and skills that will make them worthy examples and mentors. More to come later.

Meanwhile, I’ve got to polish my spurs and get on over to the Grandstand for another heart-pounding, seat-rattling, gut-churning chuckwagon race, that is, “the Chucks”. Check out Calgary Stampede to get a glimpse of the action.

Jessica, Shannon, Elizabeth

I’m frequently asked why I devote as much time as I do to teaching, writing, and speaking about social skills. Why do manners matter so much to me?

A mentor of mine once told me, “We teach what we most need to learn.” There’s truth in that. I think of myself as a direct person, because I value forthrightness and honesty, but I’ve been known to be blunt to the point of injury. I think of myself as assertive, but I’m aware that some would call me “bossy” (Kathleen Deveny describes us assertive girls beautifully; see http://www.newsweek.com/id/142670.) For a fact, I come from a long line of feisty English/Irish women who worked hard in life to become educated and successful, sometimes with little regard for tact and diplomacy. So my mission, in part, is personal: I’m trying to overcome my maternal genetics and transcend my heritage.

But I’ve made manners my professional mission because I see we’re moving, as a global village, toward impatience and intolerance. We’re not taking that essential moment to think before we speak. We’re not considering where the other person might be coming from before we open our mouth to tell her where we’re coming from. We’re reacting before we reflect, often to our detriment. That really worries me, because when we’re routinely incapable of kindness, intolerance takes root—and intolerance is the undoing of civil society.

So my mission is to restore civility by emphasizing ways to be kind. I’m impassioned to help people cultivate the empathy and perspective taking needed to navigate all sorts of tricky social situations, wherever they go and with whomever they meet. I admit that I’m a classic “helper” personality, but bottom line, our civilization needs help—mine, and yours. We’ve got to prioritize communication, compassion, and community if we’re to grow and prosper, both individually and as a species. We’ve got to be good stewards, both of our culture and our planet. We’ve got to be better parents, both of our own children, and the next generation.

The world is becoming ever more complex, with fewer real boundaries and faster communication. As faster technology mashes up our daily interactions, it’s easier than ever to be misunderstood, misinterpreted, and maligned. None of us is sure, anymore, of what’s personally expected. We’d like to be kind, not confused; we’d like to be courteous, not indignant. But we need a voice of reason, a source of social guidance, and even a dose of daily inspiration.

I’m aiming to be that voice. I hope you’ll contribute your own. Civil discourse begins with us, right here, right now.